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About IFS
Internal Family Systems is a non-pathologizing, empowering, and transformative method of understanding the problems of inner turmoil. IFS opens a space to identify "parts" or sub-personalities that negatively react and respond to each other creating an inner negative interaction cycle. We sometimes describe the experience of our conflicting parts by saying my head vs my heart or my mind vs my gut or my inner critic vs my inner child.
The "parts" are forced into roles they don't like as a way to protect from experiencing trauma/danger, hurt, or shame. These protector parts helped us survive painful/dangerous incident, context, or relationship (family, childhood, adolescence, violence, rejection, bullying, etc.). However, in other contexts and relationships, this inner interaction cycle no longer works and starts to disconnect us from Self and others.
The IFS model opens up space for the Self to explore these protector parts by presenting a way to understand what is occurring internally. Understanding starts with slowing down, separating out, and exploring the different parts by learning how to listening, accept, and love them. Next, we build trust and honour them, which ultimately creates safety and frees them from their needed role to their natural state of working with the True Self.
Goals of IFS:
1) Liberation of the protector parts from their extreme roles.
2) Self-leadership by restoring trust between the protector parts and the Self.
3) Re-harmonizing and integrating the protector parts so they work together instead of in conflict.
About EFIT
Emotionally Focused Therapy. Don’t let the name “emotionally focused” throw you off. Emotionally Focused Therapy, also known as EFT, approaches relationships as an attachment bond, as defined by the evolutionary-based theory called attachment theory. This science-based theory teaches us that, “the need for bonding goes from the cradle to the grave. Staying close to a protective loved one is the main survival strategy of our species” (Sue Johnson, Love Sense: from Infant to Adult; video). While humans today have very different threats to survival then they did ages ago, the need for human connection and relationship for survival is still a big part of our DNA.
"In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us"
- Sue Johnson
The Emotionally Focused Therapy for Individuals (EFIT) is about repairing the inner relationship/attachment bonds within by replacing the ways we disguise our vulnerabilities that get us stuck in the same inner arguments and responses to self and others. Often times this stuck place leaves us feeling upset, hurt, frustrated, anxious, and alone. We work to heal raw spots or wounded parts behind the disguised self by replacing the stuck inner dialogue with new positive interactions between parts of the self (wholeheartedness). As these new positive interactions are experienced in sessions they become reinforced to generate permanent change and healing.
Goals of EFIT:
1) Access and expand key emotional responses around stuck areas (physical illness, depression, anxiety, career problems…etc.);
2) Reshape interpersonal and emotional processing patterns with self;
3) Strengthen emotional health - positive view of others as trustworthy & dependable and of self as lovable and competent;
4) Promote secure resilient individuals and meaningful relationships.
About SPIRITUALITY
Spiritual Guidance (also referred to as direction, companion, or discernment) is helping people tell their sacred stories, which is a very personal journey inward. It is what wholehearted living is about!
At our ground of being resides eternal Love, God, the Ground of All Being, the Divine Other, Higher Power, Ultimate/Divine Reality, or the sacred. Often we are seeking for the sacred “out there,” a voice or call beyond us, instead of realizing that the voice is calling from within us, often in the silence. Unfortunately for many of us, we are not taught how to sit with the here-and-now moment and listen in silence. Our lives are loud, noisy, busy, and distracted. Most of us get so caught up in the busyness of doing life that we often forget to slow down and listen to what our heart’s truth is saying, or how it is pulling us forward into growth/transformation.
I believe living heart-centred is the spiritual aspect of being human. Whether living wholeheartedly is your spirituality or you have a religious faith practice, spiritual guidance is available for anyone. It is a long-standing tradition rooted in many spiritualities and religions.
Through silence, open listening, gentle questioning, contemplation practice, mindfulness, centering prayer, and other exercises, I work together with you to attune your heart to the spiritual movement within. We embark on a journey of discerning where the Divine Other may be leading through your own inner knowing. If you are feeling stagnate, stuck, out of balance, in the dark, burned out, disconnected from the sacred or Divine Other, or struggling with faith or to find meaning in life then I can include spiritual guidance in any of your mentoring or counselling sessions.
If you are in a crisis, a life threatening situation, or any other person may be in danger call Crisis Service Canada
1-833-456-4566 available 24/7. If it is an emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
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